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10 Steps To The Best Meal of Your Life

Taking myself out to dinner is now at the top of my “live like I’m on vacation” self-care list. It is a luxury I always enjoy and can do so effortlessly. There really isn’t a place I won’t dine alone, which opens up travel in so many ways. But I wasn’t always like this. Here is how I grew my confidence to be my own best date.

Step 1 – Know why you want to do this

A younger version of myself had fantasies of traveling the world, eating in exquisite restaurants, seeing art and culture. For a long time, a lack of travel companions kept me home while the need for travel got stronger and louder. Eventually, I realized, if I was going to travel, I might have to do it alone.

Step 2- Decide you are going to do it

If this is really far outside your comfort zone, pick a date in the future and make an appointment for yourself. You don’t have to pick a place or even time, (that will come next). But commit to it. If you are reading this today, great! You’ll be ready in no time.

Step 3 – Pick a spot

Do you have a spot in mind? In my early 20s, I lived as a poor bohemian graduate student but dreamt of eating a meal at a fancy restaurant I drove past daily. Three months out from my birthday I started saving my pennies, made a reservation and took myself out for one of the best meals of my life. Written on the wall, above the entrance was a quote I’ve come to paraphrase often.

When you meet your maker, you will be called to account for the experiences you didn’t enjoy, not the ones you did.

Don’t live with regrets! Maybe it isn’t a fancy place, but a breakfast or brunch spot you read about online, maybe a co-worker mentioned a lunch place a few towns over and you’d love to try it. Or maybe you don’t know what you want. Thrillest and Eater have great food sections you can filter and search by neighborhood or by food type. Yelp will help you see what others recommend.

Step 4 – Review the website, including the menu

There is nothing worse than getting to a place, sitting down and realizing you don’t like anything on the menu or that your budget doesn’t align to theirs. Review the menu in advance and pick at least one meal you can fall back on if you get overwhelmed easily.

Step 5 – Arrive as your most confident self

Prepare for this event as you’d prepare for a real date! Take time to primp and prep, use one of those fancy bath bombs you’ve been saving for a special occasion or break out the Sephora samples you’ve hoarded in the back of your drawer. Wear something that makes you feel great about yourself and you feel comfortable in.

Step 6 – Pick Your Seat

You have a few options when it comes to seating and all have advantages:

• Sit at the bar – This is casual and can be social. If there is an open kitchen you can keep an eye on the most popular items while you review the menu.
• Table for one – If there is a host, ask for a table for one, and smile at the end while looking them in the eye. You just told them you are confident and want a better table than they were going to take you to. You’re welcome!
• Communal Table – This can be a great way to eat in a new city while traveling. Ask your tablemates where else you should try, see or do. If they share your taste in the food they will most likely share your other interests too.

Step 7 – Occupy yourself

I believe it is acceptable to have a phone, book, journal, even a computer with you, depending on the environment. Save something good you’ve been meaning to read, or a journal prompt you’ve been meaning to get to. This is your quality time, how do you want to spend it?

Step 8 – Enjoy the meal

Sit, linger, savor each bite and have a second drink or a cup of coffee. Unless you are someplace where the turn-over is expected to be quick — say The Café DuMonde in New Orleans with long wait lines, two things on the menu and fast-pace wait staff – you are in no obligation to eat fast and leave.

Step 9 – Tip your wait staff.

You know this right? 20%

Step 10 – Reflect

You did it! How did it go, would you do it again, where are you going next? My birthday dinner out all those years ago started a passion for culinary adventures. I’m already planning my next trip, how about you?

Day trip: What to See, Eat, Do & Read

It is fall, and while the rest of you are drooling over pumpkin spice lattes, I’m savoring the memories of my last day trip. I love Vermont in any season, but fall in Vermont is spectacular.  When I get that travel urge, my fingers turn to my Kindle library, looking for a book to scratch the itch until I can plan a proper run-away.  Sarina Bowen’s first installment of the True North Series, Bittersweet, jumped out at me, and before I knew it I was traveling the backroads of Vermont with Audrey and Griffin, watching them fall in love over cider.  I needed more than the book to feed my travel bug.  I planned a perfect day trip through the area.  Take This Trip (Google Map | Instagram Hashtag | Audible)

See: An artist’s home

Augustus Saint-Gaudin was a 19th-century American sculptor, most famously known for this sculpture of the men of the 54^th Massachusetts Army regiment of the Civil War. His home and gardens in the Connecticut River Valley are a lovely and peaceful way to begin your adventure.  Be sure to see the Water Garden; I found sitting and listening to the water gurgle a great way to prepare myself for the day.

Eat: Bread Pudding

Did you work up an appetite walking the grounds? Enjoy the drive up through the foliage and make your way to Montpelier.  The smallest state capitol in the country, this tiny town is also home to the New England Culinary Institute, which means there is amazing food to choose from.  Stop at Kismet, a beautiful, woman-owned restaurant.  You will love the brunch menu.  Try the Carpaccio Benedict or the savory Bread Pudding made with bone marrow broth, onion confit, blue and cheddar cheese served with 2 poached eggs and greens.  It’s worth the drive alone!   If you have time, stroll the few downtown blocks and plan your restaurant visits for your next trip back; I know I have Asiana House on my list.

Do: Visit an orchard

Sabra and Sebastian are passionate about organic ciders and wines, and it shows throughout their orchard.  Nestled in the hills of the western side of the valley, you can tour the property and sample cider and wines as the sun sets.  I loved the Vermont Sparkling Hard Cyder but encourage you to try their still cyder as well.  (Feel free to ask them “Why the y!”)

Read: Bittersweet

Bowen’s first book in the True North series is set in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont, amongst the majestic green mountains.  The book follows Audrey, a formerly spoiled brat from Boston on the road to redemption, which takes her through the dirt roads and orchards of Vermont into former flame Griffin’s front yard.  Griffin’s family’s hospitality overrides his instinct to push Audrey away.  With a farm full of young, funny adults and a kitchen filled with authentic farm-to-table food, cider and the occasional bottle of perry (pear cider), Bittersweet is the perfect book to read when you are craving a fall experience.

Confession  

The Saint Gaudin’s estate is actually in New Hampshire, but right on the Vermont border near I-89 and I-91. It’s an easy start for a day trip from New York or Boston.